Op-Ed: Northern Virginia applies the pressure and students feel course selection stress

January and February mean many things to high school students living in Northern Virginia. Students return from winter break. The second quarter and first semester are over. But there’s one thing that everyone is thinking about this month: course selections. Course recommendations. Chaos ensues. 

Your decision for the classes you will take next year will be locked in on June 1st of this year. But teachers are required to lock in their recommendations for their students by January 20. 

Students feel overwhelmed with the pressure of course selections. We feel we are getting mixed messages from the presentations about what will be best for us. We feel as if we’re being told that colleges only accept students who balance the highest classes with many extracurricular activities, and we won’t get into a good college if we weren’t in, say, four AP classes and a ridiculous amount of clubs and programs by sophomore year. At the same time we’re told we need to balance our schedules and not overwhelm ourselves. These are very contradictory statements. 

Loudoun County has been telling us since elementary school that it’s important to practice mindfulness, or how to stay in the moment. But it’s hard to do that when there’s all this pressure to think about what college we’re considering going to and all the highest classes we need to take to get there. The problem with this is the expectation on students in Northern Virginia schools mentioned earlier. It seems that in freshman year students are going to plan out every single thing that they’re going to do, every single class they’re going to take, every extracurricular, every little thing that they’re doing to do in high school, and then it’s set in stone forever. That’s a lot. And what if we want to change our minds about our future career? It doesn’t feel like it’s ok to do that. It just feels like you have to do everything right to get to one single point, and then you have to stick with it because there’s no way you’ll be able to go back to school in, say, a science field because you should have taken Research Biology in high school. That’s a lot of pressure. 

And it feels like everything we do is only because of college. Just college. Not because it could be fun, or even if that’s something that interests us. It’s all because of college. And we’re going to do everything right. We’re going to devote all our time and energy to every single activity we’re doing, somehow. We fill our schedules to the brink, no free time. But that doesn’t matter, because colleges will appreciate it. And we’re going to do everything perfect. It’s exhausting just reading this, and we students are living it. 

Where is all this stress coming from? Well, the teachers want what’s best for us. When you talk to them, they’ll encourage you to take it easy and to not overwhelm yourself. Same with the guidance counselors. They give you great tips on how to best balance your schedule. So this stress can only be coming from a few places, and it may not be what you’re expecting. It’s the county’s environment. 

 Loudoun County is one of the richest counties in the country. The district is able to afford high level classes to be taught at their schools. That’s not a bad thing at all. In fact, it’s really nice for the people who live here. But since there are high level classes, there’s that mindset that you need to take all of them because if you don’t, then you’re not smart, or you’re lazy. That’s not true, but it does feel like that sometimes. And then they say colleges accept the highest diploma. You’ll get into more colleges if you go for the high diploma. What if that’s too much? What if you simply can’t go for the highest diploma because the required classes and activities are too much on you? It should feel ok to not go for that diploma then, right? Because that’s what’s best for you? No, it doesn’t feel ok. It feels like you’re being judged for that. Why have we built an environment where we feel judged and unsuccessful for not overwhelming ourselves?

Instead, our environment is making children overly competitive. Our county does have a considerable amount of adults who have developed their competitiveness over the course of their successful careers, which they are now reflecting onto their children. They pressure their kids into the high-level classes and expect the kids to perform perfectly in them, making straight As. Having your child develop a sense of a good work-ethic and making sure they understand the materials is not a bad thing at all, but when that gets to the point of your child being ashamed of themselves over their parent’s unforgiving attitude of a number and letter on an assignment, a big problem emerges. A student’s mental health is more important than their test grades. 

There’s no doubt we need to call more attention to these issues. Students, if you are experiencing these concerns, don’t be afraid to talk to your peers. It’s incredibly relieving to know you’re not the only one feeling these feelings. And talk to your counselors too, it’s their job to help you feel comfortable about planning your future, and they’re great at it. They can show you how successful you’ll be without putting stress on yourself with all AP classes. 

Maral Abooali, Lightridge’s psychologist, has offered to be someone the students can reach out to and talk to if they’re experiencing these concerns. She’s incredibly empathetic and helpful. Our school social worker, Jennifer McLemore, is another great person to reach out to. If you need even more support, find other trusted adults in your life outside of school who have gone through these emotions and have turned out fine, or have even changed their mind about their career. The more we talk, the more we de-stigmatize this stress, and we can build an environment where we can get information about college without all this anxiety.